A Sense of Entitlement: Parable of the Prodigal Son

Are you familiar with the story of the prodigal son?  I'm sure you are.  If, like me, you were raised going to Sunday School, you've been familiar with this parable for decades.  Most sermons focus on the son's repentance and the father's forgiveness.  How many sermons focus on the elder brother?

I know it is true that we can hear the same story repeated over and over again and then suddenly - a new insight surprises us.  Details that have always been part of the story take on new meaning, probably because circumstances in our life have altered our understanding.

In Luke 15, a father divides his estate between two sons.  The elder son is hard-working and respectful.  The younger son is impetuous and disrespectful.  Disrespectful?  How?

The younger son asks for his half of his father's estate.  It is as if he said, "Dad, I wish you were dead so I could have my inheritance now.  I hate waiting for you to die!  Can't we just pretend you're dead and you then you can give me my half?  I've got things to do and people to see.  I need money so I can enjoy life!"  The younger son feels entitled to something that does not yet belong to him. 

I can't imagine walking into my mother's home and saying, "Mom, I really like that china hutch and rather than waiting, I think I'd like to get your stuff out of it and take it home now."  How crass!

But, the father agrees.  His estate is divided and his younger son learns about life the hard way.  I can relate.  Sometimes, I have to learn this way.  I can't learn vicariously, I have to suffer.  But, once again, I digress.  The point is, the father divided his estate as if he no longer existed.  But he does exist, so what does this mean?

Well, it means the father is now dependent on his eldest son for room and board!  He doesn't own the farm, his son does.  The food on the table belongs to his son and he is a guest at the table.

When the younger son returns, with his tail between his legs, he is welcomed back into his father's arms.  He has lost his sense of entitlement.  He is humble.  I love that part of the story.  Just like our Heavenly Father is always willing to forgive us, the father in Luke forgives the foolishness of his son.  The next part of the story always bothered me, but I never dwelt on it.  Lately, I can't get it off my mind.

The elder brother is furious with his father for being so eager to forgive.  He is indignant when he learns that a prize steer - probably a Grand Champion at the county fair - will be slaughtered and the whole community has been invited to celebrate the lazy, spoiled little brother's return.  I've always thought it was a shame he couldn't be happy for his brother and for his father.

His father, without asking - as if he thinks he's still the boss - arranges for the food and entertainment.  This will be a party to end all parties!  And technically, everything does belong to the elder brother. I suppose, if I was the elder brother, I'd be upset, too. 

Now, I find myself thinking more about the older brother and less about the father and younger brother.  What is his problem?  He has it all!  In fact, he's "had it all" all along!  His father knew about his good work ethic.  His father knew about his loyalty.  His father knew management of the family farm was in good hands.  And yet, it wasn't enough.  There is no gratitude for his half of the estate.  There is no contentment.  The elder brother also has a problem with entitlement.  He feels he in entitled to everything the father has because he has been obedient.

The older brother wants to win.  And by winning, I mean he wants his father to choose.  "I stayed, he left.  You choose to love one of us.  You can't have both.  I worked hard and he was lazy.  I was a good steward and he was a squanderer.  Choose.  Either, me or him.  I am entitled to that much."

The elder son's self-righteous attitude has hardened his heart.  Like the Pharisees, he is so busy trying to be good for appearance's sake, that he has forgotten about love.  We see no love or kindness in the elder brother's portrayal.  We see nothing but love and kindness in the father's portrayal.

This parable is one of three about the lost being found.  But the lesson I am now taking from this parable, is this:

Doing the right thing, with the intention of finding favor and without regard for others  is a sin. What sin is there in doing the right thing?  Self-righteous behavior separates us from God.  Anything that separates us from God is sin.  My prayer today and everyday is that I will do my best at whatever task lies before me, and that I will be mindful of others. I am entitled to nothing.  God's grace is all I need. Entitlement is for the self-righteous and the Pharisees.