January 17th - Gotcha Day

Twelve years ago, we brought home two beautiful little girls!

Adoption was not something we had ever discussed.  We weren't opposed to adoption by any means, my husband's sister is adopted, as is one of her daughters.  We hadn't discussed adoption because we thought our family was complete.  We had two boys, 14 and 11, and as far as we knew, we were nearing the "home stretch" in child-rearing.  God had other plans for us.

The first time we heard about the girls and their imminent adoption was two weeks before Christmas.  The girls were not living in the same household and one of the girls was staying with my sister-in-law for a couple of weeks.  When she asked me how our family would feel about having a toddler show up for our Christmas festivities, I was ecstatic!  The youngest child at our celebrations was my ten-year-old niece.  I knew right away that I wanted to buy a red corduroy jumper and a doll for our visitor.

During our phone conversation, my sister-in-law told me the story of the little girl she was babysitting and her twin sister.  When she said that theirs was to be a private adoption and that the relative who had been assigned guardianship was having trouble finding a couple who would adopt both girls, I spoke up.

"Why not us?  We have a big house and I love kids."  My sister-in-law and I laughed at how quickly the words escaped my lips.  After a few seconds, I wasn't laughing.  "No, really.  What about us?"  I couldn't believe what I was saying.  Hadn't Marlin and I just talked about how much we enjoyed "date nights" now that the boys were old enough to stay home alone?  Hadn't we just talked about what we would do when we became "empty nesters" in a few years?

Marlin, who as you know is a man of few words, didn't say much that evening when I told him about my conversation with his sister.  He was looking forward to having a toddler around for the holiday, but beyond that he didn't indicate where he stood on the possibility of pursuing adoption.

When our little visitor arrived, I immediately loaded her car seat into my truck, grabbed her diaper bag and we went to the field.  Marlin stopped the tractor and came over to see us.  When he saw those big brown eyes, I knew he was falling...but then...when he was ready to leave, she did something that almost ruined everything...
"I love you, Daddy."

If only you could have seen the look Marlin gave me, he was certain I was playing "dirty" and had set him up!  I hadn't.  I was just as shocked as he was.  Later, we would learn that she called all men "Daddy" and most women were "Mommy." 

My next concern was whether or not I had the energy to handle a toddler.  We asked to have the little princess stay all night with us - I wasn't sure I could handle getting up during the night.  This would also allow the boys to spend time with her. The next day, we went to Hobby Lobby - I spent an unreasonable amount of time fishing unwanted items out of my cart at Hobby Lobby.  Everything she saw was "pretty" and because the aisles are so close together, all of the pretties kept getting tossed into my cart (just so you know, I stayed in the middle of the aisle and still she could reach!). And of course, we ate lunch at McDonalds.

By the time our twenty-four hour experiment was over, the four of us were in love with this little girl.  We decided, as a family, that we wanted to pursue the idea of adopting both girls. 

One week later, we received a phone call from their guardian.  She had narrowed her selection down to four families who would keep the girls together.  She had actually decided on a couple, but had not called them, yet.  She had decided to talk with us first, but she didn't give me much reason to hope she would change her mind.  Our conversation lasted three hours!  By the time I hung up the phone, I felt like she knew our family history's better than our kids did.  I was hopeful, I thought the call had gone well, but several days passed and we heard nothing.  Because the kids were on Christmas break, I had told her we would drive out-of-state to meet her.  I was sure she would call...I had told her when school would be starting...Nothing.

New Year's Eve.  I was in charge of our church's celebration, a soup and sandwich supper with games to follow.  I was disappointed about not hearing from her, but had much to do.  I rose early that morning and began preparing my soups for the dinner.  Just before noon, the phone rang.  She wanted to meet with us!  AND, she wanted to meet with us the next day!  She was ten hours away, so we would need to leave immediately.

I had put together a couple of bags, just in case, and so, I was able to get us packed in record time.  We hadn't told anyone about the girls, except Marlin's parents.  If it didn't work out, we didn't want to go through the pain of explaining why.  We called his mother, asked her to take over preparations for the church party and off we went.

The next morning, we saw both girls.  We had stopped to buy them books and presents - at John Deere no less - and the boys were eager to read and play with the girls.  We spent the morning watching Ross and Tyler play "airplane" with the girls, they read to the girls and played tractors with the girls.  As nap time approached, Marlin took one girl and I took the other and we snuggled with them until they fell asleep.


When I awoke, their guardian had arrived and was talking with Marlin and the boys.  This face-to-face visit lasted almost six hours.  She talked with each of us individually, she talked to the boys together, she talked with Marlin and I as a couple.  And she watched all of us interact with the girls.  After she left, Marlin and I agreed that the visit went very well and we were excited about the call she had promised to make about her decision.

We drove home...nothing...we were home for three days...nothing.  I was going out of my mind.  I didn't want to pester her, but the anticipation, the not knowing, was killing me.  I was unable to focus on anything.  Ten days passed before we received a call.  It wasn't from their guardian.  It was from her lawyer.

"Is this Mrs. Fuhrman?"  "Yes."  "Are you still interested in adopting the twins?"  "Yes."  "Good.  I have a court date set up for you next Tuesday."  "What?"  "If you are interested, you will appear before a judge, he'll ask a few questions and then you'll be able to take the girls home."

We had one week to childproof our home, arrange for a home visit with a social worker, and get background checks completed.  Living in a small community has its benefits.  We knew someone who was a social worker and she was able to contact a colleague in Topeka.  This dear man, set up an appointment immediately, and completed his portion of the paperwork in record time! 

And just as simple as that, we appeared before the judge, answered some questions, and watched as he reviewed our paperwork.  In less than an hour, we were on our way home with our two little princesses!

I will save the next part of the story for another blog....