To the Girl at the Mall,
I hope you didn't think I was staring at you, but it really was hard not to notice you. I wasn't staring, I was thinking things like: "Does your mother know you dress like that?" and "Won't you catch a chest cold with a top cut so low?" and "How in the world do you sit down with a skirt so short and so tight?"
I watched you as our paths crossed at various times throughout the afternoon and a strange thought crossed my mind. You reminded me of a billboard. The kind meant only for adults. But you can't keep kids from looking, you know that don't you?
I heard you yell at a middle-aged man and wondered why you were upset? You called him a "pervert" for trying to get a good look at your cleavage. Isn't that what you wanted?
Don't you realize that every man with a pulse is going to look at you? If you put yourself on display, you don't get to choose who looks. So don't act surprised when the developmentally challenged teen stares, he has the same impulses as any other teen boy. And don't be surprised when the man your dad works with looks you over, he may be old in your eyes, but he's not dead. And don't be surprised if guys who don't meet your criteria for "hot" make a comment or two, like every other man you encounter, they think the "show" if for them.
And as for the "hot" guys, don't be surprised if the really good ones turn and way away after they see the way you advertise.
Yours Truly,
Someone Who Cares
I have seen girls/women who dress like that many times and in many places.They dress scantily and then get mad when everyone looks. Oftentimes the girls are so young and dress so provocatively. Their bodies have developed before their minds have mature. These are the ones that I really worry and pray about. I really enjoy your blogs. Keep them coming.
ReplyDeleteBonnie, Thank you for your words of encouragement.
ReplyDeleteIt is dsiturbing to see girls flaunting their sexuality at such a young age. And I agree, their bodies are developing before their minds have matured! They really don't understand the ramifications.
I am increasingly distressed to see young girls, actually women of all ages, dressing this way at church. At a time when we should all be focused on the Word of God, they make it difficult for men and young boys to concentrate. I'm not sure who should be addressing this subject, or how it should be done. BUT, if parents aren't going address appropriate attire for church events, perhaps someone within the church should. Perhaps in grade school, but definitely in middle school!
As the mother of two daughters, I find myself caught between wanting offer a judgement and seeing this as a symptom of larger problem. While an excuse for either could be offered, as of yet I've not found a way to address it with a stranger.
ReplyDeleteIt is a big concern for me regarding our daughters, and I pray that God either gives me a way to address it or to provide an example of something better when I encounter it next time.
The question my girls most frequently ask when we encounter someone dressed provocatively is, "Do you think she makes good choices?"
ReplyDeleteWheen they ask this, I know that, at least on occasion, they have listened to what I have told them.
First, that people will make judgements based on wardrobe. Whether it is fair or not, it is a fact of life, we judge and are judged based on our clothing.
And second, that we can pray for people who seem to be making bad choices, but confronting them is not helpful. Unless, we can find a way to do it without making the other person defensive.
As yet, I have not found a way to approach someone. It really isn't my place to do so. But, at what point do girls hear (from a male) about the effect their appearance has on others?
Joshua Harris is great, if you haven't had an opportunity to read one of his books, they can be ordered online.