Patience - I Could Use More of That



Applying the green "monster" make-up and teasing the ultra-fine
hair was indeed a lesson in patience.



Last week, while shopping with Allyson and Kayleigh, I observed a father scolding his toddler for not "keeping up."  It was painful to witness.  Each time the child would stumble, the father would jerk the little arm up and forward thereby uprighting the child.  This isn't the first time I've seen a parent do this.

The girls looked at me and one of them asked, "Doesn't he realize his legs are like four times longer than that little girl's?"  At this point, the other girl chimed in, "Yeah.  How would he like it if someone was pulling him along like that making it impossible to keep up but yelling at him anyway?"

I had no answer.  Honestly, the man has probably never thought about the length of his legs in comparison to his child's legs.  And, he has probably never considered that a toddler doesn't have the endurance of an adult.  Of course, he wouldn't like it if he was treated the same way, but I'm sure he hasn't thought about that either.  

Do any of us stop and consider how our impatience effects other people?  I am guiltly of losing my cool when the girls take what seems like forever to get ready.  I am guilty of losing my cool when Marlin gets business calls at supper time and we end up eating without him.  I could go on, but I won't.  You get the point.  And, I'm sure by now, you are thinking of a few things that push your patience to the limit.

As I was thinking about the people and circumstances that make me impatient, I had a thought.  What if God treated us like the father with the toddler?  What if his approach to us was demeaning?  What if he jerked us along forcing us to follow his path?  I don't think I'd follow for very long.  Would you?

Thankfully, our God is a loving Father.  Patience is his middle name - Heavenly (Patient) Father.  When we need to take baby steps in our walk with Him, he takes baby steps.  When we need to stop and rest, to be nurtured and held by him, he stops and waits quietly with us until we are ready to begin the journey again.

Each time we repeat a mistake, our Father is waiting to dust us off and hold our hand as we try to start our faith walk again.  It doesn't matter how long it takes us, it doesn't matter how many times we fall.  He doesn't scold us, instead he gently whispers, "I'm right here.  Come on.  You can do this."

Praise God!  And may I remember his patience when I'm about to lose mine. 

Blog Drawing #1

Next Monday, February 7th, I will draw a name from all my blog followers who have left comments the previous week. Each comment warrants one entry.  This week's winner will get a copy of Beth Moore's book, So Long Insecurity.

I picked this book up after reading Beth Moore's Bible study on the book of Daniel.  I started the study with a group of ladies at Grace Evangelical Church and would love to have continued, but I was overwhelmed by orders for saint costumes and had to drop out. I continued the study on my own and was truly blessed.

If you haven't watched Beth Moore's Bible studies on DVD and you have the chance - DO IT!  You won't be disappointed.  I've just purchased her study on the book of Esther from Ebay and am looking forward to starting today.

As for this book, all I can say is, "It's about time!"
Beth Moore does a fantastic job of addressing the causes of insecurity in men and women.  I have taken notes and highlighted numerous pages.  In fact, I am on my way to town (before the ice gets worse) to get another set of highlighters - it's that good!

Here's one quote of  many that spoke to me:  "Are we honestly going to insist on drawing our security from people - men or women - who are oblivious to the inordinate amount of weight we give to their estimation of us?"

I just had this discussion with my girls last week.  People are so preoccupied with their own problems and schedules, they don't have time to spend sitting around wondering what you are doing and why you are doing it.  You may get a quick thought from someone now and then, but they aren't focused on your clothes, or your hairstyle, or why you were jumping up and down during a praise song.  They're focused on their clothes, and their hair, and they may be wishing they were secure enough to express themselves during the praise songs the way you do!!!

All of us are insecure, some more than others, but it touches all of us.  If our insecurity prevents us from living a Spirit-filled life, we need help.  You'll find it in this book!

Blessings to you and yours,
Debbie

In My Spare Time....

 Playing with my grandkids is a priority - not something done in "spare" time

If you ask me a question, I'm going to give you an answer.  More than likely, I am going to give you more detail than you desire.  You might as well know that up front.  I know how to talk and I'm not afraid to do it!

Another "just so you know,"  if you ever see me in WalMart or CountryMart and I don't stop and talk with you, I'm close to missing a deadline.  I'm not ignoring you, I simply don't see you.  I've had people chase me down and put a hand on my shoulder to get my attention, "Didn't you hear me calling to you?"  

Nope, I was wondering how I was going to get my errands done, get home and finish whatever I'd left undone, drive back to town with my package and get to the post office window before closing time.  Or, I was wondering why I'd let the laundry get out of control while I worked on sewing or writing projects, or why I can't do a better job of prioritizing, or - well you get the idea. 

I am the poster child for "Too Many Irons in the Fire," but if you've spent much time with me, you know I'm not happy any other way.  If I'm not insanely busy, I'm borderline depressed.  So, when people ask what I do in my "Spare Time" I am left speechless.  I think I work in my spare time, don't I?  I'm not familiar enough with the term to answer intelligently.

I am not whining or complaining, please don't misunderstand me.  I just don't know how to respond when someone tells me they spent the whole day curled up with a good book or spent the day watching reruns of a long retired sitcom.  I don't sit still very well.

This inability of mine to sit still for long periods of time, nearly prevented me from getting a second date with my husband. (Oops!  He told me it's embarrassing when I talk about him in my blog, so keep this quiet and I'm going to be very careful not to mention his name - just like he asked!)

We had known each other for ten years, but had never spoken, when we attended a wedding dance for mutual friends.  September 13, 1980.  It's a long and involved story (if I tell it), but I couldn't leave right after the wedding dance and he asked if wanted to go "riding around."  I agreed and hopped in his big brown Ford pickup.  We hadn't been driving long when I realized that while I knew "who" he was I didn't know much about him - specifically whether or not he tended to act like a gentleman.  

As we drove around in Nortonville, Kansas, population 300 or so, I talked his ear off as I surveyed each neighborhood for a "safe house."  If I needed to make a break for it, I would, but I didn't know anyone who lived in Nortonville.  Anyway, I talked and occasionally he would respond.  By the time we parted ways, I was exhausted, I had worked WAY too hard to get him to talk.  

Obviously, it all worked out, and someday I will tell you about how we dated for six weeks before getting engaged, but now is not the time.  

Later, after he felt it was safe to tell me, he told me that I had made him a nervous wreck that night.  He'd never seen anyone with "ants in their pants," but he figured if he ever did they'd move around the way I did in his truck.  And, he said he'd never heard anyone talk so much, or so fast in his whole life.  

I have a lot of nervous energy, if I make you uncomfortable, I'm sorry.  BUT, I do get a lot done in the course of a day.  

So, what do I do in my spare time?  I get creative.  I formulate plans for new projects.  I take long walks and take notes while I'm walking.  I ride my horse and take notes while I'm riding.  I gave up riding my bike because I couldn't write while bicycling...

While we were in Mexico, I nearly went insane...for three days I couldn't think of anything I wanted to write.  Reading wasn't possible, I tried, but I just couldn't get interested.  For three full days, I experienced total relaxation.  I had heard people say, "I just let my mind go blank,"  I had no idea what that was like.  In Mexico, I found out.  And I did NOT like it.  It scared me.  

I'd been joking with God about wanted some peace and quiet, a few days without these creative thoughts pestering me.  I began to wonder if He'd taken me seriously.  And then I wondered, what if he misunderstood the part where I asked for a few days?  What if this new state of mind was going to be a permanent condition? 

"Lord, forgive me.  I didn't know what I was saying!"

And just like that...it was back.  I picked up a pen and steno pad and wrote until my hand cramped.  As soon as my hand recovered, I did it again.  

I'll never ask for God to quiet my creativity again. And in my spare time...I'm gonna write and plan new projects until my hand hurts!

Mexican Pancakes

While we were on vacation, we ate breakfast at an open air restaurant.  The service was fantastic and the food was great.  Allyson ordered pancakes that looked so good we all had to try a bite.  Just a simple twist on pancakes, but oh so good!

MEXICAN PANCAKES

1 cup pancake mix

3/4 cup milk, plus 1-2 TBSP

1/8 cup sugar

1 egg

1 TBSP canola oil

1 lb strawberries, fresh

2 bananas, medium

Sweetened Condensed Milk

Wash strawberries.  Cut strawberries and bananas into small pea-size pieces. Mix together in a small bowl and add 1 TBSP of condensed milk.

Drizzle a small amount of condensed milk on 6 dinner plates.

Mix first five ingredients for pancake batter.  Prepare pancakes, making sure the batter is not too thick.  I like to make the pancakes the size of a luncheon plate (about 8 inches); they will roll nicely.  If your pancakes are too small, you will not be able to roll the pancake with filling inside.  One solution is to make smaller pancakes and stack them with fruit mixture between the two pancakes.

Pour filling down center of pancake, fold one side over the other and flip over, placing seam down on dinner plate.  Spoon fruit on top and then drizzle with condensed milk.

No syrup needed!!!

Yield: 6 servings
Cost : $0.80 per per serving

A Sense of Entitlement: Parable of the Prodigal Son

Are you familiar with the story of the prodigal son?  I'm sure you are.  If, like me, you were raised going to Sunday School, you've been familiar with this parable for decades.  Most sermons focus on the son's repentance and the father's forgiveness.  How many sermons focus on the elder brother?

I know it is true that we can hear the same story repeated over and over again and then suddenly - a new insight surprises us.  Details that have always been part of the story take on new meaning, probably because circumstances in our life have altered our understanding.

In Luke 15, a father divides his estate between two sons.  The elder son is hard-working and respectful.  The younger son is impetuous and disrespectful.  Disrespectful?  How?

The younger son asks for his half of his father's estate.  It is as if he said, "Dad, I wish you were dead so I could have my inheritance now.  I hate waiting for you to die!  Can't we just pretend you're dead and you then you can give me my half?  I've got things to do and people to see.  I need money so I can enjoy life!"  The younger son feels entitled to something that does not yet belong to him. 

I can't imagine walking into my mother's home and saying, "Mom, I really like that china hutch and rather than waiting, I think I'd like to get your stuff out of it and take it home now."  How crass!

But, the father agrees.  His estate is divided and his younger son learns about life the hard way.  I can relate.  Sometimes, I have to learn this way.  I can't learn vicariously, I have to suffer.  But, once again, I digress.  The point is, the father divided his estate as if he no longer existed.  But he does exist, so what does this mean?

Well, it means the father is now dependent on his eldest son for room and board!  He doesn't own the farm, his son does.  The food on the table belongs to his son and he is a guest at the table.

When the younger son returns, with his tail between his legs, he is welcomed back into his father's arms.  He has lost his sense of entitlement.  He is humble.  I love that part of the story.  Just like our Heavenly Father is always willing to forgive us, the father in Luke forgives the foolishness of his son.  The next part of the story always bothered me, but I never dwelt on it.  Lately, I can't get it off my mind.

The elder brother is furious with his father for being so eager to forgive.  He is indignant when he learns that a prize steer - probably a Grand Champion at the county fair - will be slaughtered and the whole community has been invited to celebrate the lazy, spoiled little brother's return.  I've always thought it was a shame he couldn't be happy for his brother and for his father.

His father, without asking - as if he thinks he's still the boss - arranges for the food and entertainment.  This will be a party to end all parties!  And technically, everything does belong to the elder brother. I suppose, if I was the elder brother, I'd be upset, too. 

Now, I find myself thinking more about the older brother and less about the father and younger brother.  What is his problem?  He has it all!  In fact, he's "had it all" all along!  His father knew about his good work ethic.  His father knew about his loyalty.  His father knew management of the family farm was in good hands.  And yet, it wasn't enough.  There is no gratitude for his half of the estate.  There is no contentment.  The elder brother also has a problem with entitlement.  He feels he in entitled to everything the father has because he has been obedient.

The older brother wants to win.  And by winning, I mean he wants his father to choose.  "I stayed, he left.  You choose to love one of us.  You can't have both.  I worked hard and he was lazy.  I was a good steward and he was a squanderer.  Choose.  Either, me or him.  I am entitled to that much."

The elder son's self-righteous attitude has hardened his heart.  Like the Pharisees, he is so busy trying to be good for appearance's sake, that he has forgotten about love.  We see no love or kindness in the elder brother's portrayal.  We see nothing but love and kindness in the father's portrayal.

This parable is one of three about the lost being found.  But the lesson I am now taking from this parable, is this:

Doing the right thing, with the intention of finding favor and without regard for others  is a sin. What sin is there in doing the right thing?  Self-righteous behavior separates us from God.  Anything that separates us from God is sin.  My prayer today and everyday is that I will do my best at whatever task lies before me, and that I will be mindful of others. I am entitled to nothing.  God's grace is all I need. Entitlement is for the self-righteous and the Pharisees.

My Old Waist

When the girls were about five years old, we went shopping at East Hills Mall.  I don't like to shop and tend to get a little cranky when forced to the mall.  (Key word is "little" - others in my family might disagree)  I don't like to shop for clothes!  I like some stores: fabric stores, antique stores, book stores and craft stores.  I just don't like clothing stores.  And I will NEVER understand people who like to spend a day at the mall just looking around and trying clothes on for the fun of it!

Anyway, we were standing in a long line at JCPenney and I pulled out my driver's license hoping to speed up the checkout process when it finally became my turn.  I was trying to keep the girls entertained, but soon they were entertaining the other people in line. (It's lucky for them I can't remember which one of them made "the comment" that started the entertainment!)

As they looked at my picture on my driver's license, one of the girls said, "Mommy, don't you wish you could have your old ______ back?"

I inserted a blank here for a reason.  As I often do, I was anticipating how to respond to the comment before it was completely uttered and before I had a chance to really think about what had been uttered.

The girls had been admiring the long, silky hair of the woman in front of us for quite some time.  Their hair was short and thin and they would often tie scarves around their heads pretending the scarves were long hair.  Since, I had just cut my hair short a few months after the driver's license pictures was taken.  I knew the comment involved hair.  This is what I thought I heard:

"Mommy, don't you with you could have your old hair back?"

That was not what she said.  I realized that as snickering women turned to look at me.

What she really said was, "Mommy, don't you wish you could have your old waist back?"  It was so embarrassing to have everyone in the area take a gander!

I made some lame comment about how our bodies change when we have children and as we age, and of course I gave them "the look."

Ten years later, not only do I not have my "old" waist back, I don't have the waist I had ten years ago!  And do, I am inviting you on my journey....

Growing up, I was always the "little one" and I could eat whatever was placed in front of me.  While other girls were thinking of diets, I did not.  Everyone said my body would change after the birth of my first child.  I gained twenty-two pounds and lost all of it within a week.  Much to my delight and the disdain of a few...  I didn't fare as well with my second child.  I gained thirty-three pounds and because it didn't bother me, I carried an extra fifteen pounds for about two years.

I struggled with my weight about fifteen years ago, but was able to exercise and get back to a healthy weight.

And now, I find myself forty pounds heavier than I should be.  I've spent a lot of time thinking about how I got to this point.  I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia about five years ago and was taking a lot of medications.  Then my father was diagnosed with lung cancer.  Until today, I hadn't realized the effect that had on my weight.  This battle was a long, stressful one and I realize I ate when I was sad.  I ate when I was taking him for his chemo treatments and I ate when I was sitting at the hospital.  Naturally, what I ate was not healthy.  I chose fast and convenient.  I chose junk.

So here I am.  I've returned from a week in Mexico and while I took most of the pictures on the trip, a few were taken of me.  I deleted almost all of them.  Why?  Because I didn't recognize myself in them.  I didn't want to look long enough to face the fact that the image I saw was really me.

I need accountability.  I need you and your encouragement.  And I'm hoping that if you identify with what I am struggling with and would like to join me, that you'll send me a message or give me a call.  We could be doing this together.  Supporting each other.

Monday morning, I decided to get my eating habits under control.  I did a great job on Monday!  Tuesday, I ate at a Chinese buffet and I did as we all do at buffets - I "ate my money's worth" until I was uncomfortable.  But more than that, I was ashamed of myself for getting off track so soon.  That's when I decided to allow you to follow along with my progress.

Blessings to you and yours,
Debbie

January 17th - Gotcha Day

Twelve years ago, we brought home two beautiful little girls!

Adoption was not something we had ever discussed.  We weren't opposed to adoption by any means, my husband's sister is adopted, as is one of her daughters.  We hadn't discussed adoption because we thought our family was complete.  We had two boys, 14 and 11, and as far as we knew, we were nearing the "home stretch" in child-rearing.  God had other plans for us.

The first time we heard about the girls and their imminent adoption was two weeks before Christmas.  The girls were not living in the same household and one of the girls was staying with my sister-in-law for a couple of weeks.  When she asked me how our family would feel about having a toddler show up for our Christmas festivities, I was ecstatic!  The youngest child at our celebrations was my ten-year-old niece.  I knew right away that I wanted to buy a red corduroy jumper and a doll for our visitor.

During our phone conversation, my sister-in-law told me the story of the little girl she was babysitting and her twin sister.  When she said that theirs was to be a private adoption and that the relative who had been assigned guardianship was having trouble finding a couple who would adopt both girls, I spoke up.

"Why not us?  We have a big house and I love kids."  My sister-in-law and I laughed at how quickly the words escaped my lips.  After a few seconds, I wasn't laughing.  "No, really.  What about us?"  I couldn't believe what I was saying.  Hadn't Marlin and I just talked about how much we enjoyed "date nights" now that the boys were old enough to stay home alone?  Hadn't we just talked about what we would do when we became "empty nesters" in a few years?

Marlin, who as you know is a man of few words, didn't say much that evening when I told him about my conversation with his sister.  He was looking forward to having a toddler around for the holiday, but beyond that he didn't indicate where he stood on the possibility of pursuing adoption.

When our little visitor arrived, I immediately loaded her car seat into my truck, grabbed her diaper bag and we went to the field.  Marlin stopped the tractor and came over to see us.  When he saw those big brown eyes, I knew he was falling...but then...when he was ready to leave, she did something that almost ruined everything...
"I love you, Daddy."

If only you could have seen the look Marlin gave me, he was certain I was playing "dirty" and had set him up!  I hadn't.  I was just as shocked as he was.  Later, we would learn that she called all men "Daddy" and most women were "Mommy." 

My next concern was whether or not I had the energy to handle a toddler.  We asked to have the little princess stay all night with us - I wasn't sure I could handle getting up during the night.  This would also allow the boys to spend time with her. The next day, we went to Hobby Lobby - I spent an unreasonable amount of time fishing unwanted items out of my cart at Hobby Lobby.  Everything she saw was "pretty" and because the aisles are so close together, all of the pretties kept getting tossed into my cart (just so you know, I stayed in the middle of the aisle and still she could reach!). And of course, we ate lunch at McDonalds.

By the time our twenty-four hour experiment was over, the four of us were in love with this little girl.  We decided, as a family, that we wanted to pursue the idea of adopting both girls. 

One week later, we received a phone call from their guardian.  She had narrowed her selection down to four families who would keep the girls together.  She had actually decided on a couple, but had not called them, yet.  She had decided to talk with us first, but she didn't give me much reason to hope she would change her mind.  Our conversation lasted three hours!  By the time I hung up the phone, I felt like she knew our family history's better than our kids did.  I was hopeful, I thought the call had gone well, but several days passed and we heard nothing.  Because the kids were on Christmas break, I had told her we would drive out-of-state to meet her.  I was sure she would call...I had told her when school would be starting...Nothing.

New Year's Eve.  I was in charge of our church's celebration, a soup and sandwich supper with games to follow.  I was disappointed about not hearing from her, but had much to do.  I rose early that morning and began preparing my soups for the dinner.  Just before noon, the phone rang.  She wanted to meet with us!  AND, she wanted to meet with us the next day!  She was ten hours away, so we would need to leave immediately.

I had put together a couple of bags, just in case, and so, I was able to get us packed in record time.  We hadn't told anyone about the girls, except Marlin's parents.  If it didn't work out, we didn't want to go through the pain of explaining why.  We called his mother, asked her to take over preparations for the church party and off we went.

The next morning, we saw both girls.  We had stopped to buy them books and presents - at John Deere no less - and the boys were eager to read and play with the girls.  We spent the morning watching Ross and Tyler play "airplane" with the girls, they read to the girls and played tractors with the girls.  As nap time approached, Marlin took one girl and I took the other and we snuggled with them until they fell asleep.


When I awoke, their guardian had arrived and was talking with Marlin and the boys.  This face-to-face visit lasted almost six hours.  She talked with each of us individually, she talked to the boys together, she talked with Marlin and I as a couple.  And she watched all of us interact with the girls.  After she left, Marlin and I agreed that the visit went very well and we were excited about the call she had promised to make about her decision.

We drove home...nothing...we were home for three days...nothing.  I was going out of my mind.  I didn't want to pester her, but the anticipation, the not knowing, was killing me.  I was unable to focus on anything.  Ten days passed before we received a call.  It wasn't from their guardian.  It was from her lawyer.

"Is this Mrs. Fuhrman?"  "Yes."  "Are you still interested in adopting the twins?"  "Yes."  "Good.  I have a court date set up for you next Tuesday."  "What?"  "If you are interested, you will appear before a judge, he'll ask a few questions and then you'll be able to take the girls home."

We had one week to childproof our home, arrange for a home visit with a social worker, and get background checks completed.  Living in a small community has its benefits.  We knew someone who was a social worker and she was able to contact a colleague in Topeka.  This dear man, set up an appointment immediately, and completed his portion of the paperwork in record time! 

And just as simple as that, we appeared before the judge, answered some questions, and watched as he reviewed our paperwork.  In less than an hour, we were on our way home with our two little princesses!

I will save the next part of the story for another blog....





 

There's No Place Like Home

Allyson and Kayleigh racing from the waves

After spending eight days in Mexico, all of us were ready to come home.  Yes, we knew we would be coming back to snow and below freezing temperatures, but we were ready.  We wanted to eat home-cooked meals and sleep in our own beds.  We wanted to watch television without reading subtitles.  We wanted to come home and shop without having people stop us and say, "Hey!  Come look.  Good deal for you, almost free!"

Outdoor market - Marlin loved "dickering" w/vendors

We enjoyed the experiences we had in Mexico, and I would go back to Cabo, but not for a few years.  Cabo is saturated (in my opinion) with timeshare properties.  Some of the salespeople bristled at the term timeshare and preferred to use the term "flexible ownership," call it what you want, it was all the same.  Everywhere you went, someone was trying to get you to listen to a presentation about their property.

Club Regina

Out of courtesy, we attended a presentation at the resort where we stayed.  The stay at the resort, The Club Regina, was the result of an incentive program so we didn't pay for our lodging.  We told the salesperson repeatedly that we weren't interested in timeshare ownership.  He, in turn, kept showing us how we could use our ownership to visit other places.  It didn't matter to us.  We don't feel the need to take week long vacations every year (at one point they offered us five weeks for the same money).  We had to talk to four different people before they gave up.

Club Regina

Later, Marlin agreed to sit in on another presentation in return for tickets to a dinner cruise on a pirate ship and round trip taxi fare. The second property was beautiful, as was the resort where we stayed, but it didn't fit our lifestyle.  Again, the salespeople couldn't fathom our way of thinking.

After the trip, as we sat in the airport waiting for our return flight, Marlin and I talked about our conversations with the resort salespeople.  We knew some of their comments and reactions were purely part of the presentation - "How to deal with difficult guests" but some of our responses to them were foreign ideas.

First, we told them that because we were both self-employed and didn't get paid vacations, we didn't take long vacations.  Instead, we like to take weekend trips.  Second, we told them we didn't take week-long vacations because we didn't like being away from home for that many days at a time.  Third, we told them we didn't need a one bedroom suite at $250-$300 per night, even if ownership meant we would be saving $100 per night.  We don't get away to stay in our room!  You should have seen their faces when we told them we could be just as happy at a Super 8 or EconoLodge!

My "princess" Mariah chasing Tibbs from the horse pen

While they tried to make us feel like we were depriving ourselves by not purchasing with them, we tried to make them understand that we love where we live and don't feel the need to escape.  We are doing what we love to do.  And, we love where we live.  While they wanted to talk about all of the excursions available in Cabo, we told them we work too hard for our money to spend it on excursion at $50-$85 per person.  We have "excursions" of our own, and they don't cost that much.  The girls and I can go horseback riding without making a reservation.  Our family can go fishing or camping without charge, we can take the ATVs out and go riding, we can have a hayrack ride.  Most importantly, we can enjoy each other's company wherever we are.  We don't have to fly to an exotic location to spend time together.

From my living room window - FREE

Sure, I could do without the freezing weather, but I love icicles and fresh-fallen snow.  I could do without the spring rains that seem to go on and on, but I love to see the plants and trees turning green and lush.  I could do without the sweltering heat of summer, but I love homemade ice cream and watermelon, and lazy afternoons on the porch.  I could do without the corn and soybean dust in the fall, but I love to see the grain checks coming in! 

Cabo in January is beautiful and warm, but looking at the ocean and having temperatures that remained fairly constant day after day would get boring.  I need variety.  I need to see, smell, hear, and feel the changing of the seasons.  I would rather experience God's creativity here than anywhere else on earth.

Common Courtesy Isn't So Common

I have been struck this week by how courteous and helpful the people of Cabo San Lucas, and the surrounding areas have been.  While our inability to speak Spanish has made our trip a little more challenging, the locals can read the confusion in our faces and often offer assistance without being asked. 

As our family discussed how polite everyone has been, I remembered something...A couple of months ago, an idea was being to rumble around.  In the last two days it has begun to take shape.   Where are our manners?  Do parents realize the importance of manners regarding their childrens' future?

Children with good manners and social graces are going to be more successful later in life.  Think about the classroom.  Who does the teacher favor, the child who knocks over a pile of books and walks away, or the child who comes to help pick up the fallen books?  And what about the child who says, "You can't tell me what to do, you're not my boss" compared to the child who complies when instructed to complete an undesirable task?

You don't have to be a teacher to know the answer.  Teachers are going to work harder with the child who displays good manners.

Saying "please" and "Thank-you" are important, even mandatory at our house, but there is so much more to be learned about the social graces.  And what about you as a parent?  Do you feel comfortable with manners, conversation, hospitality and etiquette in social settings?  If you don't, where will your child learn how to make polite conversation in social settings?  Where will your child learn how to make introductions?  And what about walking with confidence?  Good manners make good first impressions.  That's a fact you can't argue.

So, I've been thinking.....

I've developed a plan for teaching the social graces to mothers and daughters.  Content would be geared toward different age groups, but the basic format would remain the same:

1.  Define the concept and explain its importance
2.  Demonstrate the concept - this would be done through skits and  songs
3.  Group activity
4.  Summary

So far, I have written lyrics for four songs and have outlined two skits.  My goal is to develop a program for one age group and then move on to the next.

Topics to be included:
Moving with Confidence
Speaking with Confidence
What to do When Jokes Aren't Funny
Telephone Etiquette
Tactfulness
Respect
(I've got many, many more...)

I won't bore you with more details, suffice it to say, I have ten pages of notes in additional to the lyrics and skit outlines.

It is a fact that children without social graces have more trouble with parents, family, teachers and friends.  Perhaps, a fun, playful approach to teaching manners to children will make a difference.  I'm going to try.

Relaxing in San Jose del Cabo

I brought four books with me on this vacation.  Typically, I will read one on the plane as we leave Kansas City, two on vacation and one on the way home.  I was excited about the prospect of relaxing on the beach with pen and pad in hand, writing until my right hand could bear no more, and then reading until I fell asleep.

It hasn't been like that at all.  I took medication for my Restless Leg Syndrome and in almost four hours was able to read three pages - I was too groggy to read more.  My legs didn't jerk uncontrollably, so that was nice, but I really wanted to read that first book.  It was supposed to be the catalyst for my writing on the beach.  Oh, well.

It is now Tuesday, and I've not written anything creative.  I have made some scribbles related to a diet and exercise plan to commence immediately after my return to Kansas!  I knew I was out of shape, but didn't realize just how bad it was until we started walking around the resort.  Up a million steps to the business center, then down a million to our room.  Down another million to the beach and up a million to our room. 

I've not opened a book, except my Bible, since we arrived in Cabo.  I have a brand new notepad begging to be used, and I can't write.  I have never experienced anything like this.

Marlin calls it relaxation (as if he would know!) and keeps telling me not to worry about it.  But I am worried.  If you know me, you know my mind is in a constant state of uproar with ideas for projects I need to finish, ideas for projects I want to start in the near future, and ideas on how to strengthen the plot of my latest book.  If you know me well, have you ever known me to sit still - perfectly still - for more than say twenty minutes?  Twenty minutes, might be a stretch! 

Today, I sat for almost two hours watching the ocean.  Not once did I think, "I've got to write that down before I forget!"  There were no thoughts.  Well, maybe a few thoughts, "The sky sure is a pretty blue.  The water is pretty, too.  Wow!  Look at all the sea gulls." 

See what I mean?  I feel like a female Forest Gump! 

Lest I sound depressed, let me assure you I am not!  As I mentioned previously, the weather is perfect, the view is incredible and the people are friendly and helpful.  I'm just wondering when I get my brain back?

Today I was reminded of this verse, "Be still, and know that I am God." Psalm 46:10

Perhaps, that is all I need to get from this vacation - the reminder that God is with me and more importantly my creativity comes from Him.  While it may feel like my brain has disappeared, it has not.  I wonder if I am to enjoy the splendor of God's creation and be content to do nothing more?

And my normal brain activity?  Perhaps, I'll get it back when I return to Kansas.  I understand it is only eight degrees above zero this morning and there are at least five inches of snow.  I'm pretty sure reality will snap me out of this catonic state...

"And God created great whales"

"And God created great whales and every living creature that moveth which the waters brought forth abundantly..." Genesis 1:21



Yesterday, we took the girls on two excursions: Cabo Submarine and Cabo Whale Watching.  I am still having trouble putting these experiences into words, but two songs kept coming to mind: "How Great Thou Art" and "For the Beauty of the Earth." 

We explored the Sea of Cortez in a partially submergeable submarine and were treated to a plethora of sea creatures.  Before we submerged, we enjoyed sea lions and prior to the sea lions we had watched several species of fish swimming near the dock.  I was not prepared for what we would see (even though I had seen pictures in brochures) once we went below the water's surface.  We saw puffer fish, clown fish, star fish and schools of Yellowtail Surgeonfish and Moorish Idols.  The guide had given us cards to use to identify the fish as we saw them and as we identified a fish we would call out the name so everyone could take a look. 

Our captain didn't speak, but looked perfect for the job, an olderman with skin that spoke to a life on the water and silver-gray hair that spoke to a life filled with adventures.  His son, our guide, was also perfectly suited for his job.  He was exuberant.  It was fun to see someone so excited to share his knowledge with strangers.   He was delighted each time a passenger squealed or laughed in delight as they spotted a brightly-colored fish.  And believe me, it wasn't just the children who were squealing. 

As if that trip wasn't enough, less than an hour later we boarded a mid-sized boat to go whale-watching!  The boat ride by itself was enjoyable!  While Kansas was hunkering down for a major winterstorm, we were in shorts and short-sleeved shirts enjoying the sunshine.  Our captain, Reuben, was excellent at his job.  we were able to see whales over and over again.  At one point there were fourteen boats of various sizes, watching for whales and then moving closer as the wahles were spotted.  We were with Reuben for almost two hours and in that time he only missed being the first, or one of the first, on site one time!  I can't tell you how many sightings there were, we lost count! 

It was so amazing to see one, and then two, and eventually three whales swimming together!  At one point, a whale swam beneath our boat!  I must admit it was a little terrifying to see that huge creature heading right for us, but he dove a few yards before he reached us and then came up again on the other side several seconds later. 

I will be posting pictures when we return from our trip.  But for now, all I can do is whisper the lyrics from these songs:


For the beauty of the earth,
For the glory of the skies;
For the love which from our birth,
Over and around us lies;
Lord of all, to Thee we raise
This, our hymn of grateful praise.


O Lord my God, When I in awesome wonder,
Consider all the worlds Thy Hands have made;
I see the stars, I hear the rolling thunder,
Thy power throughout the universe displayed.

Blessings to you and yours!

Galatians 6:4 and the "Comparison Trap"

I spoke to a women's group recently about a troubling issue, the Comparison Trap.  The Comparison Trap is a dilemma that effects far more women than men.

No woman is immune. 

Take a close look at the buttons.  Do you see the white shirt button, the plain and simple button at 4 o'clock?  What about the five green glass buttons still on their card?  I have a variety of buttons - actually I have thousands - tens of thousands - but the point is this...If you look at the buttons and compare them by your definition of beauty, my favorite button might not make the cut.  And, if you look at the buttons and keep those you deem pretty and toss the rest - my white shirt with the missing button...it will stay that way.  Each button has a purpose, some are only for display, others will be used every day, and still others will require delicate care.  You and I can't compare the buttons and decide their value; we didn't create them.  We may like some more than others, but we can't discount the value of those we don't like. 

When I first got married, I was determined to be the best farm wife ever!  I didn't know how to cook, but I was going to learn how to put a meal for ten together and transport it to the field.  I didn't know how to drive a grain truck, but I made up my mind that I could do that, too. 

As a little girl, I had seen my future mother-in-law drive a grain truck by our house during harvest.  I loved to run to the edge of the yard and wave at her - she was the only woman driving a grain truck by our place.  She always smiled and waved back.  Years later, when my husband, Marlin and I were married, I started a competition with my mother-in-law, she just didn't know about it.  It wasn't enough that I be a good wife or a more specifically a good farm wife - I wanted to be better than she was.

Later, I realized that this was foolishness.  First of all, she was a farmer's daughter and had a few years head start on me.  Secondly, our personalities are very different: she's an introvert and I'm not.  Eventually, I realized that God was asking me to be the best me I could possibly be.  He didn't need another Wanda Fuhrman, he already had one. 

Galatians 6:4 says, "Each one should test his own actions.  Then he can take pride in himself, without comparing himself to somebody else."

I was trying so hard to be someone I wasn't create to be; when I learned to be the best me, it made all the difference in the world.

P.S.  I now drive a Peterbilt! And if you don't believe me, I'll take you for a ride!

Letter to Girl at the Mall

To the Girl at the Mall,

I hope you didn't think I was staring at you, but it really was hard not to notice you.  I wasn't staring, I was thinking things like: "Does your mother know you dress like that?"  and "Won't you catch a chest cold with a top cut so low?"  and "How in the world do you sit down with a skirt so short and so tight?"

I watched you as our paths crossed at various times throughout the afternoon and a strange thought crossed my mind.  You reminded me of a billboard.  The kind meant only for adults.  But you can't keep kids from looking, you know that don't you? 

I heard you yell at a middle-aged man and wondered why you were upset?  You called him a "pervert" for trying to get a good look at your cleavage.  Isn't that what you wanted?

 Don't you realize that every man with a pulse is going to look at you?  If you put yourself on display, you don't get to choose who looks.  So don't act surprised when the developmentally challenged teen stares, he has the same impulses as any other teen boy.  And don't be surprised when the man your dad works with looks you over, he may be old in your eyes, but he's not dead.  And don't be surprised if guys who don't meet your criteria for "hot" make a comment or two, like every other man you encounter, they think the "show" if for them.

And as for the "hot" guys, don't be surprised if the really good ones turn and way away after they see the way you advertise. 

Yours Truly,

Someone Who Cares

A Little Bit About Me - And Horses

According to my dad, I was born loving horses.  According to my mom, I was born talking, but that's another story (with plenty of pictures to back her up).  I was given a rocking horse for Christmas and my dad used to tell me that once I got on, I didn't want to get off.  At six months of age, I did need some supervision, but it wasn't long before I resented that extra pair of hands always ready to catch me.  If you're gonna ride, you're gonna fall, right?

As I got a little older, my parents would take me to a park to ride ponies in a circle.  I'm sure you've seen pictures, the horses are tethered to poles which are arranged like spokes in a wheel.  The speed is constant and the rider really has no control. My father loved to tell me about how independent I was when it came time to ride the ponies.  Apparently, at less than two years of age, I didn't want my mother or father walking beside me.  I wanted to ride - BY MYSELF!  That independent streak pleased my father, but what pleased him even more was that other children, who were much older, would cry and cling to their parents.  The other children would either refuse to ride or refuse to ride without a parent holding on to them.  Dad said some of them would bawl the entire time, while I on the other hand, couldn't stop beaming.  My tears came when the ride was over.

I don't remember the park, but I do remember the horse in the the second picture.  We lived in California at the time, and the neighbor girl had a horse.  I remember specifically the time she left me alone on the horse.  I was probably pestering her to ride, or it could have been that she was showing off how gentle her horse was.  This is what I do remember: she put me on the horse, she went in the house with her friends, and I sat on the horse.  For a very long time...She never came back...Eventually her father came home from work and rescued me.  I was not grateful; I was having a good time and he had ruined it.  I was about four years old.

Eventually, I would get my own horse, a sorrel mare named Goldie.  I hated the name and tried several new names on her: Stardust, Princess Golden Hair, and Golden Moon.  None of the names fit her personality.  She was a "Goldie," plain and simple, never in a hurry.  Trustworthy (most of the time) and surefooted.  Walking was her favorite speed.

I still love horses and in the coming weeks you're going to get a chance to meet the eight that now reside in the north pasture. I'd also like to introduce you to some of the horses I loved as a little girl.  

This morning, I realized I was feeling a little melancholy.   I left the warmth of the house and went to see the horses.  After thirty minutes of "therapy" I was ready to tackle my "to-do" list.  Horses have always had this effect on me.  And while I'd really rather be riding today, I can always walk to the mudroom and pretend I'm with the horses.  You see, I have this smell on my boots....

Savory Shrimp Soup Recipe

Tuesdays are hereby designated as Common Cents Cooking Days!  As I select entries for my upcoming cookbook, I thought you might enjoy sampling some of the recipes.   

I began married life with little cooking experience.  I knew how to make French Toast, pancakes, creamed eggs on toast, "Screwy Noodles" and I knew how to cook hot dogs.  That was it.  Oh, I forgot grilled cheese sandwiches! 

Poor Marlin!  He was used to good home-cooked meals three times a day!!  I wanted to please him, so I studied my cookbooks and did my best - it just wasn't very good (Marlin stayed pretty lean the first couple of years).  In the beginning, I had a terrible time coordinating dishes so that everything could be ready at the same time.  It wasn't uncommon for us to wait thirty minutes after the vegetables were ready - and eaten - before the main course was done. And done doesn't necessarily mean edible.  And the bread, I really wanted to make homemade dinner rolls, well the rolls were almost always doughy!  If I hadn't come into marriage with a stubbon streak, I probably would have given up after the "Chicken Fricasse Disaster," but that is a story for another time...

Common Cents Cooking is being created with the busy woman in mind.  Each recipe can be made quickly and inexpensively.  In the cookbook, I will be focusing on the money saved by preparing meals at home and hopefully demonstrating that the actual amount of time needed to prepare a home-cooked meal is often over-estimated.  For the inexperienced cook, I will be providing sample meals with a schedule provided in hopes that others can avoid the problems with timeliness that I had!

This recipe is a holiday favorite.  If you love shrimp, you'll love this quick and easy recipe! 


SAVORY SHRIMP SOUP

1/2 cup chopped onion, optional
2 TBSP butter or margarine
1/2 tsp garlic powder
12 oz chicken broth
1 can (10-3/4 oz) cream of shrimp, or cream of mushroom soup
1 lb frozen shrimp, or 2 cans (4 oz, each) shrimp, rinsed and drained
1/3 cup half-and-half
1/2 tsp dried thyme leaves

In a medium saucepan, saute onion and garlic powder in butter until tender.  Add chicken broth and soup, whisk until smooth.  Add remaining ingredients and simmer for 10-15 minutes. 

Yield: 4 servings
Cost: $2.00 per serving (if using frozen shrimp and shrimp soup)
         $1.60 per serving (if using canned shrimp and mushroom soup)

Cooking time: 20 minutes
Time on your feet: 6-7 minutes

**Cost per serving is based on current (01/2011) grocery prices.



1928 - Future Grandmothers Corresponding

I know it's hard to read, but the envelope is addressed to Miss Emma Lange at Cummings, Kansas.  The letter was sent from Beatrice Mayfield of Cummings, Kansas.  the date is November 1928.  Who cares?  It's just an old letter, right?

Last night, when I should have been cleaning up after our final Christmas celebration, I was reading letters written by two young girls over a period of eight years. As I savored each line, I was struck by the timelessness of the letters.  These letters were written over eighty years ago, but they could just as easily have been sent via e-mail today! 

Beatrice wrote about her latest activities and inquired about Emma's.  She wrote of the boys she liked and those she didn't like.  She wrote about her desire to marry and have a family.  Her desire to have a home of her own and she asked Emma how she felt on each of these topics.

I don't have letters written from Emma to Beatrice, so I can only guess what her responses were based on the letters in my possession.  But this much I do know:

Emma Lange married Fred Fuhrman less than three months after the last letter was written.  Beatrice Mayfield married Victor Barber one year after the last letter was written.

Fifty-two years after the last letter, Emma's grandson married Beatrice's granddaughter.  I am Beatrice's granddaughter, and of course, Emma's grandson is my husband, Marlin. 

In 2011, I Want More Days Like This One!

A New Year's Resolution is a waste of time for me.  I don't follow through, I never have, never will.  Like everyone else, I start the year with good intentions.  For example: I'd like to be more organized - if I was organized I don't think I'd need to make resolutions.  Life would be perfect!  Wouldn't it?

If I could stop all of the creative ideas swirling around in my head, I could be organized.  I know this to be true.  I also know that I can't put those ideas to rest until I act on them.  Well, most of them.  But I digress - as I often do.

I bought a book.  "The Messies Manual" thinking it would be a great aid in my quest to be more organized.  And if I could find it, it might do the trick.

I admire people who are organized.  People who are ready for company at a moment's notice.  People who know where everything is because they didn't get distracted while putting it away!  (There is a lapse in time here as I forgot that I was making Chex Mix and had to go stir and while I was in the kitchen I saw the chocolate covered pretzel rods and realized I was hungry.. While I was eating the pretzel rod, I saw the 1921 issue of "Home and Garden" my mother gave me and that reminded me that I needed to finish the work I had started on my photo album....

I can be more organized than I currently am, but I will never be organized.  I'm okay with that.  I'm going to do less of the things that stress me out, and more of the things that energize me.  Like writing, and reading, and hugging - my kids, grandkids and horses until they pull away.  And, I'm going to be silly with my husband and do crazy things like we did the day he took my picture covered in mud.

We were riding our Razor (a side-by-side ATV) in the horse pasture when I got the bright idea to have him chase the horses just enough to get them to run.  Marlin agreed and we took off.  The horses didn't cooperate like I had hoped and  ran (not really, they walked and sneered) into a smaller pasture.  As we turned to get lined up with the opening, we discovered the ground in that area was soft.  Really soft. 

We sank.  I had my good tennis shoes on and didn't want to ruin them, so I offered to take my shoes and socks off so I could try pushing the Razor from behind.  I should have realized we were in big trouble when I sank in the mud up to my ankles and my jeans got wet up to my knees!  But I wanted to try pushing.  It didn't work.  As I pushed and Marlin accelerated, the slimy mud flew everywhere with a nice portion of it landing in my hair and on my arm.  I don't know when I've laughed as hard as I did at that moment!  We had to call Tyler to rescue us with his souped-up ATV.  And I should mention that while Tyler pulled Marlin out of the mud, I stood back out of the way.  Far enough to avoid being a distraction, not far enough away to avoid another onslaught of slimy mud.  This time it found my face. 

Moments like that are what I want in 2011. More mud and laughter.  Less stress over things I can't control.  Can you ask for much more?