February 3rd - Today Isn't Any Easier

Off to school with a mighty big lunch pail!

Today isn't any easier than yesterday.  Today would have been my father-in-law, Earl's eighty-first birthday.  Day two of feeling blue.

When Marlin and I started dating we learned a lot of fun facts about each other's parents, for instance: our father's birthdays were one day apart, his father was nine years older than mine, his mother was nine years older than mine and his parents got married nine years before mine!  

Earl made me feel welcome the first time I stepped into the house. It was December 26, 1980 and  Marlin had invited me to come watch home movies and slides. Marlin's Grandpa and Grandma Fuhrman, his parents and his sister and brother-in-law and of course, Earl and Wanda.  Earl couldn't wait to get started.  Why?  Because he knew I was going to recognize someone on one of the black and white slides.  I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw my great-grandmother at a birthday party honoring Marlin's great-grandmother.  I squealed in delight - I had seen so few pictures of Great-Grandma Mayfield.  His great-grandmother and my great-grandmother were friends?  (I took it as a sign. And years later, I would learn that his grandmother and my grandmother had been friends for several years.) Earl told the story about that night and my reaction several times a year for the next 28 years!

Look at those eyes - Onery! Onery! Onery!

Earl loved to tease and it drove me crazy that he never called me by name before Marlin and I got married.  I was "the Barber girl" or "that little Barber girl."  I hated to be called "little" but I knew better than to tell him - if I did he'd never call me anything else, I was certain of that!

Marlin isn't an animal lover but that was something Earl and I had in common.  Marlin and I spent the spring of 1981 checking first calf heifers and on more occasions than I can remember, I stayed to help pull a calf.  Earl welcomed my help.  He made sure I knew how much he appreciated my help and I was so proud of myself for playing such a crucial role.

I'm not sure how long Marlin and I had been married before I learned that my role was actually a "non-essential" one.  Apparently, cows are able to calve without someone holding the tail - who knew?  At first, I was upset for having been fooled.  It didn't set well knowing that everyone knew I believed I had an important part to play, knowing that they'd probably laughed themselves silly when I wasn't around talking about how "green" I was.  Eventually, I realized it really was funny and I laughed right along with him as he told people about my role in the calving process that year.

Earl and Wanda's 50th Wedding Anniversary

Earl's CB handle was Ramrod, and that was so appropriate.  He loved to work and he worked hard.  The man was always moving and sometimes it felt like you had to run to keep up with him.  At times, he seemed gruff to other people, but they didn't see him cooking oatmeal for his cats in a crock-pot he kept in the shop.  They didn't see him tenderly caring for a misshapen calf he named Herkimer.

He was proud of what he had accomplished and he was proud of those who worked alongside him.  One of my favorite memories is of Early bragging to a neighbor about his future daughter-in-law and how quickly she had learned how to operate a tractor.  He kept track of every hour I worked and if anyone was around to listen, he'd recount those hours for them. 

During the summer months, I helped work cattle and I learned how to operate the squeeze chute.  At some point, I got stepped on or kicked and I was left with a nasty bruise and a deep scratch.  Earl fussed over me and I saw a very tender side of him I had not seen before.  Later, he asked Wanda to go with him to town to buy me a gift...he came home with a very pretty, very feminine white cotton blouse with ruffles.  I bet none of the guys who helped ever got anything when they got hurt working cattle!

Like I said, Earl welcomed me into the family before the thought had ever crossed Marlin's mind.  Family was probably the most important thing in Earl's life.  I've never seen a man more proud of his grandchildren or great-grandchildren.  Or his wife and children.  

Back: Tyler, Marlin, Wanda, Me, Ross / Front: Kayleigh, Earl, Allyson

 

                                         

Today, I was reminded of how readily he accepted me.  I hope that my daughter-in-law, Jennie, knows how truly happy I was to have her as part of our family.  And, I hope that when Tyler, Allyson and Kayleigh marry, their spouses will feel that love as well.