Here I Am Lord Use Me - But Only Under My Conditions

I have a basic plan in mind as I begin each day.  Most days, that plan is altered, and I'm okay with that.  But, I do like to start with a plan.  Today was no exception.  I had a plan.  The plan was altered, and now so is my immediate future.

I started the day with a quick visit to the doctor, nothing out of the ordinary, a routine visit.  On my way home, I learned I needed to get a prescription from my mother-in-law's oncologist.  The drive is fairly long and as I travelled I began to pray for strength.  As I prayed, I began to outline a presentation for women.  "Here I am God, Use Me." 

The premise would be that we often tell God we are available to do His will, but then we add our own stipulations:

Use me, but not for anything that involves talking to people, because I don't like to talk to strangers.

Use me, but not for anything that involves tools, because I'm not very handy.

Use me, but not for anything that requires me to be punctual, because I have a hard time with schedules.

I think you get the picture.

We want God to use us, but only on our conditions. 

I am guilty of this.  As I was driving, I told God I would do whatever needed to be done for my mother-in-law.  Cooking and cleaning, caring for her physical needs, all were within reason.  But, I did mention a couple of things I did not want to have to face - I was very specific.

As I met with the nurse, she patiently instructed me on medications and dosage, charting pain level, physical care and so on.  Then, she waited until I was looking her in the eye and told me things I had been afraid to ask.  Naturally, the two scenarios I had most feared facing were the two she wanted to prepare me for.  As I sobbed, I stopped for a second and thought, "Yeah, I know - this is irony - and it's not funny."

I don't know why the most gracious woman I've ever met is facing such as aggressive disease.  I don't know why God is asking me to face what I fear most. 

I don't need to know.  I'm content knowing that I can lean on my Heavenly Father.  To some it may not make sense, but I know that He will hold each tear I cry in his hands and use those tears to water a wilting flower just in the nick of time.

If you tell God you want to be used and then add provisionary clauses; He may use the opportunity to teach you a lesson in irony!  I'm going to continue to pray for God's strength and courage to face what lies ahead.  I'm going to make the most of every day.  What about you?

May you seek out God's blessings every day, in every situation.  And remember, His hands are reaching down to lift you up.  Lift your weary head, reach up to Him.  You don't have to bear your burdens alone; His strength will carry you through.